Dumb Job Ads: Graphics/Dreamweaver/Programmer 17-40 $/hr

I almost find this one impossible to believe. Do the people who wrote this ad have any contact with humans? Do they meet people, listen to their opinions, or wonder how this job ad might be taken by actual people in the real world? I’m thinking…. no.

Valve company in Florida is actively seeking a graphics designer. Qualified candidates should have 3-5 years experience developing corporate marketing collateral, web page content, web ads, multimedia demos and sales presentations. Required experience in Flash design, HTML, PHP, and Apex. Previous experience using Fox Pro a plus but not required. Company offers a competitive salary, excellent benefits including a cafeteria plan. Salary listed is an approximation, so all eligible candidates are encouraged to apply.
Questions you will be asked:

• What is your expected salary?

• Describe your experience using Dreamweaver.

• Describe your experience creating marketing collateral.

Yes, in case you thought the salary ‘range’ between $17 to $40 per hour was a bit too narrow, they further explain that it’s an approximation. You think?  Then, they hysterically go on to ask each candidate what their expected salary is. It’s like a magician trick. Pick a number between 17 and 40. In other words, take a wild guess what you think we can really afford.

Then, they want you to describe your experience using Dreamweaver. Huh? Normally, you describe an experience on how you handled some challenge at work, or overcame working with a difficult client. But, no, they want to know your experience using Dreamweaver. I can’t even imagine how such a paragraph would be written: “I click around a lot. I love code and split view. I think CS3 is so much better”. You won’t have any choice but to sound like a total nerd.

I’m particularly puzzled by the requirement to use Fox Pro. For those who don’t remember, Fox Pro was a database system that was blazing fast back in the day. Microsoft bought it ought and used the engine to create Microsoft Access. There are still some remnants of Fox Pro floating around, mostly for Linux. But basically, nobody uses it anymore. Certainly not “Graphics/Dreamweaver/Programmers”.

But if you have experience creating “market collateral” then, you have been officially “encouraged to apply” by the company (just in case the ad didn’t encourage you enough on its own).

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I live in Iowa and this information is pretty helpful–its hard to know what I’m worth.

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