Dumb Job Ads: Office Assistant Web Developer

I have a friend who posts really dumb online dating ads to his blog. He does this with some regularity which only leads me to believe he spends an awful lot of time on online dating services scoping for chicks. Perhaps equally sad, if not more so, is my own obsession with reading the help wanted ads. I subscribe to a half-dozen feeds of job ads, mostly for freelance work purposes and short-term contracts.

There are three types of job ads. Normal ones, and two types of bad ones. The first bad kind are the mile-long legalistic job ads put out by human resources drones with so many qualifications that only a cyborg from “The Terminator” might fill them all. And of course, that is probably the type of employees running the place, too. They want more cyborgs to help them takeover the world. Government contractors are infamous for those.

The second bad type is the one that just makes you scratch your head and go “Huh?”. You wonder if anyone with a brain published the ad. You wonder if it is a fake ad from a serial killer looking for more unwary victims. These are the ones that almost make you want to submit your resume just to see what might happen. Then you remember that life is a good thing and there’s no sense in giving idiots and serial killers your personal curriculum vitae.

So, I think I’ll start a mini-series of some of these. Here’s today’s:

V Systems is looking for a motivated entry level person for office assistant duties as well as website maintenance duties.

The office assistant duties consist of answering the phone, running errands, sorting mail, and some bookkeeping activities.

The web and network duties consist of entry web site development.  A knowledge of a web site language like HTML would be a plus.

The job pay range is advertised at $10 to $15 hour and as “full-time, part-time”. This “entry level” person is supposed to have “web and network duties”. I love the request that a knowledge of “a web site language like HTML” would be a plus. So, if you know a website language “like HTML”, but not necessarily HTML, you might have an in at V Systems. Plus, you get to “run errands”. I love it when bosses put that in job ads. You can be sure that even they don’t know what they heck you’ll be doing. But, as long as you don’t mind doing anything they ask you to do, anything but staying focused and being productive that is, than this could be the job for you. Whoever gets this job, can you comment here as to what you actually were paid, if you were full-time or part-time, and what errands you were asked to do while using your web site language like HTML? I’m dying to know.

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Great post! I’m looking forward to your mini-series, especially if they’re as funny as this one! :-D

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