Dumb Job Ads: Web Developer!

Hold on to your punctuation hats and watch out for flying exclamation points. You’re sure to be excited by this dumb job ad:

TRIAD Personnel is currently seeking a creative web developer to join a great company in the Melbourne area! We are looking for someone with multimedia web software knowledge (Macromedia and Adobe applications). Candidate must also have strong knowledge of ASP and PHP as well as in a .NET environment including ASP/VB, JavaScript, XML, MySQL and database design principles. Candidate will be a liaison between IT and Marketing departments and other teams to ensure web content and design is effective. If you meet this qualifications and want to work with a great team, please send us your resume for IMMEDIATE consideration. Thank you!

The Melboure area! Wow! That is exciting indeed!

Considering that Adobe bought out Macromedia in April 2005, two-and-a-half years ago, I think it would be safe to avoid mentioning it. Unless they really need you to know Dreamweaver MX 2004.

I love these web developer jobs where, once again, you have to know every web development language in the real world. They seem to have forgotten only Ruby on Rails.

The best part of this job is that not only do you have to be an excellent programmer (knowing at least 4 languages), but you get to be a copywriter and usability expert ensuring that “web content and design is effective”. Maybe you’ll get to write copy on Mondays, program PHP on Tuesdays, program Visual Basic ASP on Wednesdays, convert it all to .Net on Thursdays, and do usability testing on Fridays. You won’t be bored at least.

And what web developer in his right mind wouldn’t just love being a “liason” (read: fall guy) between IT and Marketing? It sounds almost as fun as being hit by paintballs in your underwear. That’s probably why they have all the exclamation marks in the ad - so you can see how exciting it will be.

Maybe Triad Personnel Services should hire a real web developer to redo their own 1996 website in all its tables glory. Of course, they’ll need to pick a back-end language to use first. That could be tough.

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