Top Ten Ways to Use your Upcoming Vote to Punish your Children

I wrote this for the 2000 year elections, but considering all the hoopla about the 2008 Presidential race already under way, I thought it appropriate to share these now. I remain hopeful that someone somewhere might benefit from it, despite a decade of proof to the contrary.

1. Always view elections in term of the immediate present. After all, you are the one who has to live with who you vote for, right? Don’t let those “long-term vision” freaks get to you. The next four years is probably going to be the best four years of your life, and you don’t want to go through them knowing you supported a LOSER, do you?

Genuine Surveys

I must be alone. Apparently, the thought level on this subject is so high I can not hope to understand it. Or it is so common as to be unquestionable by anyone. I’m talking about those surveys that are handed out to college students near the end of each semester asking them to rate their professor on a variety of skills. The surveys are supposed to be anonymous, although I’m sure I’m not the first student to be highly suspicious of this administration claim. Considering the time and expense for all involved, I struggle to comprehend how these surveys could be of any use - to anyone. The only sad answer I keep coming back to is that they are a token gesture toward students who don’t think very far beyond their #2 pencil. Maybe I’m wrong.